there a reason why i am childish and i dont want to get serious. haiz. my life have offically beocme complicted again. i guess i am used to a few month of peaceful life but the fire line have started sparkle again.

i not sure how long has it been since i felt so much negative opinion about one person. i am not even sure if i have this much negative thought about one person before. if u read what i have type, try to talk to me about work and nothing else. just in case i could not hold my temper towards you. this time you really gone overboard.

From now on I will only treat you as a colleague and wont placed any more trust. In the matter of fact I never place trust in people and I am only trying out slowly to be open. I believe in you so I told you a little more about myself than the other and yet I can’t believe you still can play when my family is in concern. As what Binoy as said I should take responsibility in what I do and is my fault in the first place that risk using someone handphone to send the sms. If not u won’t even have a chance to play. From now on I will resume my secondary school forge policy. Anti-trust policy which I set to myself. Sorry, this time round I can’t take any more risk. I am already in a stormy ride with my family now u have successful put it in a tsunami crisis. And I just realize, the more close I am to a person the more harm I will get. Same to the secondary friend which I am close to. Which sparkle the stormy ride in my life. And seriously, I really don’t know other words to use other than the f word. Cause this is F insane. I hope just I won’t use the word hate again. Which I have a extremely bad experiences using the word once to a person i treasure alot in my sec life.

mce wont lead people now. cause i know i still have much to learn and culture before i can bring people to greater heights. but i will lead those willing to follow and believe in the same destination.

u know what make me sad? is when i cant make the people i want happy and not possible to see the person smile.

actually i wanted to go wu shu, i have prepared all my equipment but then my heart devoid me the courage of going. maybe i realise now why people shouldn't know too much of you

if your heart isn't happy, this prove that u shouldn't give up. but then... will tears pour if carry on? will the out come be detrimental? actually the main thing is will i be able to overcome the heart burden or obstacle? i have experience one sem of intense heart trama, that why i understand i am not as good as i know i am.